"Coaching, Emotions & Unique Personalities"

What is a good coach?

I've heard this question asked, listened to it as a statement and ashamedly shared my opinion of others in regards to it. In this blog I'll discuss some of my learnings from over two decades of "trying to be a good coach" with a focus on emotions, relationships and personalities.

Good Emotion, Bad Emotion, Genuine Emotion, Fake Emotion

As part of a regular speech given to many coaching peers as they are getting ready for big events and tournaments I've often made commentary on "managing emotion" as a key to coaching well, particularly for youth players, but relevant to all. Not allowing the "emotion" of the game to impair critical decision making and as an overall theme providing a steady and safe environment for your athletes to enjoy the experience so they can perform at their best. A practical example being, over-celebrating a huge result in the tournament to come out the next game and play "hangover hoops". On the other end of the emotional continuum, being so "business-like" and down-playing a performance that you can come out a little flat or anxious (cue Mental Skills coaches here as they spend their professional lives teaching in this space). How do we get it right as a coaches and "hit the sweet spot" emotionally for our teams? A few keys from learning the hard way and having a fair share of great experiences too are listed below.

• Always remember how you feel and what's going on in your head is not always the same as what your team and each of the individual members may be experiencing

  • Acknowledge what you're feeling, but be sure to "take the temperature" of the group through observing body language and discussion

• People have sensitivities - some easy to see, others are buried a little deeper, but all are influential on how we "project" our emotions as coaches

  • Players are unbelievably perceptive and will know when you're "running hot", "flat", "fake" or if you're just you and being genuine

• Everyone has their own "blend of emotions" we all have our own flavour of smoothie made up of our own personality parts

  • What flavour of smoothie are you, how about the players in your team, what's their flavours?

• Be accepting of individual peoples quirks and unique approaches to the game

  • Every team has "hype" people, and "hide in the corner" people as they prepare for games

• Openly communicate with the team early in the program about how your environment will encourage people to be themselves (this helps with the next point)

  • Being organised about how your team will manage their pre-game preparation from both an individual and team perspective can bring clarity and routine

• Identify the appropriate time when individuals need to prioritise "connecting with the team" over being in their own heads.

  • For example it might be in a warm up in the last 5 mins that the group huddles then comes out with a focus on engaging with others

• In the heat of competition if the temperature is rising have a "mental ice pack" ready to cool off. Awareness is key.

  • We physiologically change under stress, if you feel your heart racing, the veins popping, speaking faster or louder, then have simple strategies to help you "calibrate"

  • Personally I have a "word" in my head that acknowledges the stress and helps me "re-focus" on the task at hand

  • Breathing intervention techniques are an amazing skill to have. All coaches should undertake some training in this space

• Utilise the people around you to ensure they are aware of "your signs" (and you for theirs)

  • An assistant coach can be tasked with asking a "distracting question" to help you get you back on course

  • An open ended question can be great, "hey do you think we should run horns or turnouts the next play against their defence?"

• When making decisions ensure that the evils of "ego" and negative "emotions" are not the drivers

  • The "perceived pressures of performance" can manifest and display as stress, over reactions and irrational judgements

  • Our job as coaches is to make sound, informed and logical decisions

THE TAKEAWAY SHOP

"Understand the pulse of the group and being genuine are keys to a positive growth environment"

What’s a good coach? I don't know exactly but I do know that good experiences are had when coaches have:

• a good understanding of people

• a good understanding of the game

• are good at regulating their behaviours

• are genuine with their emotions

• have a good understanding of the pulse of their group and,

• seek out the good in their players